THE FAUX MULO-HAWK

THE FAUX MULOHAWK AND WHY IT SHOULD BE OUTLAWED

The Faux Mulohawk: A Definition

The faux mulohawk is a haircut currently popular among males in Australia. It is not a mohawk, a faux-hawk, or a mullet, but a nasty combination of the three. Essentially, the wearer has a fake mohawk with longish hair covering the back of his neck.

It is this

PLUS THIS

Which equals something awful between the two. Unfortunately, the only picture i could find (on such short notice) was this one:

The photo gives a fairly accurate, if mild, representation of the faux mulohawk> The problem is getting past the ridiculously SHORT SHORTS to the hair. On the plus side, it's an excellent introduction to Australia's favorite sport, rugby, and their uniforms, including knickers/shorts.

THE FAUX MULOHAWK IS NEGATIVELY IMPACTING SOCIETY

This particular hairstyle is causing an animalistic regression of the human species. The men of Australia who sport this style greatly resemble overgrown birds. That's right, birds. In particular, the rooster and casuary birds. These are birds who possess either a comb or a casque. In either case, the protrusion is located in hearly the same area as the faux mulohawk (FMH).

The comb is used by roosters to scare away other males and attrack females. We are all aware chickens are not particularly bright birds, which is probably why this works at all. Although the male looks utterly ridiculous strutting about with that thing stuck to his head, the female refrains from mocking laughter and ostracizing the bird from the flock, eventually embracing and even mating with it.

I am afraid this will happen to Australian society. The women will cease to recognize the FMH as an indication of stupidity, blindness, a manifestation of a weaker, less deseriable characterisitc, and reproduce with him. Thus causing natural selection to fail miserably. Fall flat on its face. Die in the arms of a cock-combed FMH-ing idiot of a man who was too weak to stand against society's joke.

Because yes, the FMH must be a joke. The fashion industry was bored, busy overlaying computer images when they created the FMH. You know they are all sitting in their offices, cracking up, and the guy who bet $20 it would never catch on is walking to work becuase that was his bus money.