I'm Done with Randoms

Sure, it's fun to have guys around... to feel attractive because there is more than one guy interested... but I'm not really that girl. I can't just flit from guy to guy and "have fun." Let's face it: If I weren't so relationship phobic, I would be a relationship-only girl. In fact, I'm thinking about taking that leap anyway.

Tim wants to date me. And to be honest, I kind of want to date him. As in "bf/gf". I know. Weird. Amber, if you're reading this you should be solidly freaked out. What the hell is happening to me?!!! Relationships? You must be joking... but I'm not.

I also can't get past the idea of feeling like it's not fair to any of the guys to be seeing or dating or whatever you want to call it all of them at the same time. They really all are very nice buys, and I don't believe anyone deserves to be played. Which is wehre I'm heading, if I continue to see all of them. So I've decided I'm going to jump and give Tim a chance. If it doesn't work out, i will be hurt and it will suck, but it's a risk I (eventually) have to be willing to take.

So we'll see how it goes. I'm really dreading having to tell Brett that I can't see him anymore as anything other than friends (yes, I probably will use this line). And, unfortunately, I have to do it today, because he wants me to meet up with him in the city, something I can't afford to do, monetarily and I won't risk losing Tim. If Tim found out I was "dating' other guys, he would be gone, I have no doubt about it. And I don't want him to go.

So there it is. My confession. I'm letting go of Randoms and sticking with a Particular. FYI- if people are not randoms, they are particulars. And Tim is becoming a Particular.

No worries, though! I won't fall in love. I don't fall in love. Love is like a four-letter word. It just shouldn't be said unless you really really mean it. And I'm not sure I'll ever mean it. But that's a whole different story/psychological self-evaluation through blogging!

Hope everyone is well and thanks for stopping by!